Thursday, May 10, 2007

bitter sweet


This morning was one of those, you know the ones that come out of no where. I had a very special Mother's Day breakfast at Ellis' school this morning, and he presented me with this sweet little key chain. We took a Mom and son picture together, he showed me what he's been working on at preschool, and then it was time for me to leave. Hugs and kisses, we'll see you this afternoon after school. All good. I walked out to the van, and the tears just started to come, and wouldn't stop. I was so overjoyed with sharing such a special morning with my eldest son and so proud to be a Mama to these very special two little boys, and then I had such saddness because I'm an orphan now. An orphan and also without my oldest sister and my brother. More tears, mascara running down the face by this point as I'm walking into Fred Meyer with Garrett. I take a deep breath, pull myself together, and put on some sunglasses to cover up the oh-so-puffy eyes at this point. Garrett starts singing to me..."Mommeee, Mommeee, Mommeee," in the sweetest sing-songiest voice you've ever heard...more tears. I then get home and I have a package sitting on the doorstep. It was gorgeous pink and orange roses, with a note from Nessa and Chris. More tears. Well I've done my share of the waterworks today, that's it my quota is done. I'm so blessed, and happy, and so sad all at the same time...how is that possible?

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