As the days get fewer and we start counting in hours before CJ leaves, it really is getting hard. As I sit here, the saddness of it physically hurts. The anticipation of that last moment of saying goodbye for such a long period of time is daunting and powerful. I've had people ask me what we are up to this summer and I simply can't answer them because I can't get past that day, the day that my partner and my life has to leave us. I'm trying to savor every moment, memorize his beautiful handsome face, take in his smell...I might not wash his pillow for a long time after he leaves! As my tears come, and they are coming more often as the day gets closer, I hope he knows in his heart that we will be fine and I can do this. I will take care of our babies and do the best that I can to hold down the homestead until he returns safely to us again.