Saturday, September 10, 2011

Reflecting on 911

I woke up this morning, lazily...one of those rare mornings that I get to sleep in, which I love to do. It was quiet in the house and I started to reflect on the 10th anniversary of 911.

This single event has so much pain based around it, for me personally and to our nation. It literally was the cause or the catalyst for so many things to change.

My mother died that morning in a rehab facility. The TV's were on, people huddled around them, trying to make sense of what was happening right before their eyes. Planes crashing into skyrises, the pentagon, and a field. My mother was taking her last breaths as this horrific event was taking place. The world would never be the same...my world would never be the same.

It's hard to believe she has been gone for 10 years, because the pain still feels new. It's very hard to be in the world without a mother, and now of course my Daddy is gone too. A feeling of emptiness, not belonging and lonliness is common with me.

The people who consipired to do such harm on 911, were also the ones responsible for my cousin's murder on the tube in Britain. Because of 911 I have had family members put their lives on the line for our safety, and continue to do so. Vanessa is out there, somewhere...my beautiful step daughter, in harms way, in part because of this stupid day.

And because of 911, CJ felt compeled to join the Navy Reserves, which ultimately caused him to be deployed to Iraq for a year...at a time that was probably the worst it could have been for our family. New baby girl, new house not finished, not paid for, and could no longer afford, and the market tanking. Ultimately 911 was the last straw for my marriage as well.

I pray that our world will be better, that people get in touch with each other and become more connected, kind and understanding of differences.

No comments: